I started teaching men how to attract women and get along with people in general after figuring it out for myself during a 3-4 year period of intensive travel & medium-term residencies in various cities in Europe (including Budapest, Barcelona, Krakow, Warsaw and Amsterdam).
During that time I met a small number of guys who had a calm charisma about them that women in particular seemed to be drawn to. I usually refer to these guys as “the 1%”, the ones who don’t put on a performance just because women have arrived.
I had always been a pretty anxious guy as a result of a confusing childhood where I wasn’t particularly well socialised, so being able to observe these gentlemen who were able to accomplish rather a lot without really doing much was really quite something, and naturally I was compelled to pay close attention.
Through hanging out with & observing those guys, and through a lot of inner work (including a 100 hour Vipassana meditation retreat) I learn how to become a confident man while being able to access a state of inner calm at will and basically “slow the fuck down”.
I became able to trust in my innate ability to engage people and make a much better first impression that I had previously been able to.
Before long I was finding myself building deep, meaningful and lasting connections with all kinds of people, including women with a level of beauty I had previously I had only dreamt about. They were suddenly taking me very seriously rather than excusing themselves or saying “sorry, I have a boyfriend”, which I had previously become accustomed to.
I now cringe when I see guys putting incredible amounts of energy into “daygame” and “pickup” now that I realise how un-necessary it all is. It’s my mission to teach as many guys as possible how to access their innately attractive power, and how to relax and trust in themselves.
I’m grateful to be able to pass on everything I learned from the natural guys to the intelligent men I now have the privilege of working with.
My own “pickup” years
Although business was good, my initial foray into coaching was a bit of a false start as I was heavily indoctrinated into the “approach and conquer” mindset of the pickup coaches I was following on YouTube.
It seemed to be effective but in fact required way more time and energy spent approaching than actually enjoying. It also positioned the women we were pursuing as a “goal” or “target”, a source of happiness. Yes it’s exciting for inexperienced guys, but ultimately it’s holding them in their adolescence rather than allowing them to involve into their mature adult selves – the guy who women can really take an interest in.
During that period I encountered many guys who were also into the “pickup” scene, but I ultimately found their way of operating quite immature and more about trying to gain each other’s approval than pursuing something genuinely nourishing, meaningful and sustainable.
My embarassing secret
The way to market a coaching business in that niche was to film ourselves “picking up chicks” using a hidden camera, something I’m now incredibly embarrassed to have been involved in all those years ago.
Coaches who are still engaged in this type of activity are clearly operating as outsiders in society, and rely on “cold approach pickup” to gain intimate experiences with women rather than being a man with a strong social reputation. It’s not a healthy mindset to pass onto guys who want to learn how to attract women.
I enjoy being a social guy with a good reputation. A man who is well-known, liked, trusted and valued in the community. Being discovered by somebody in my social network as “the guy who films women with a hidden camera” would surely get me ostracized. Hence I haven’t done it since the day I “grew up”, some 7-8 years ago. Plus I don’t see women as “sets” or “targets” who need to be skilfully coaxed into wanting to be with me. And nor should they be for you.
When I matured I realised that women should arrive as a natural consequence of who we’re choosing to be in our lives, rather than because of the sheer number of approaches we’d done, and the level of our “seduction skills”.
Outside of coaching
When I’m not doing my “dayjob”, I’m usually out with my camera photographing faces around the city of Warsaw, Poland where I’m currently based. I also play guitar to a decent level, and I can cook a mean Spaghetti Carbonara.