The reason you don’t yet have some of the things that you want in your life is this:
You haven’t asked. And very often that’s all it takes.
Maybe you don’t feel you have permission to ask for what you want?
Or perhaps you don’t feel entitled to what you want?
Maybe you’re afraid of getting yelled at for being so audacious?
[ Don’t worry about that, you’re a grown man who can handle a bit of trouble, and anyway it’s easier to apologize than to ask permission ]
I was inspired to write about this after being quite “lucky” with hearing a lot of “yes” recently, but in particular a conversation I had this morning with my landlord made me realise that the power of asking is something I rarely talk about my dear readers.
(So this morning I wanted to swap some of the furniture in my room for some better quality items in one of the vacant rooms. He immediately obliged. Whereas years ago I would have been too nervous to even ask such a thing).
My 2 main tips for asking for what you want:
1. Ask in a way that assumes a “yes, of course” response. Direct is best. Here’s an example of the right and wrong way:
“Excuse me, sorry to bother you, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but I was just wondering if it would be at all possible if I could borrow your horse for a wedding, if it’s not too much trouble, I know you probably can’t but…. it’s just that mine is at the vets and I have a battle tonight… I promise to take good care of it and return it first thing in the morning”
“I’ve got a battle tonight and I need a good horse. Mind if I take yours?”
You’ll get straight to the point. And instead of making the asking part a long and uncomfortable drawn-out process akin to having a wisdom tooth pulled, you’ll quickly get to the either a “yes” or a perfectly understandable and easy to deal with “no”.
2. Rely on the fact that you’ve been showing up as a likeable, trustworthy and valued man who takes a genuine interest in the people in his life.
(you have, haven’t you?)
By the way, I can teach you EXACTLY how to get a good grasp on this, it only takes less than 30 days… click here for the info on that
Showing up & interacting in this way gives a substantial amount of power to any requests you might make. People like to share, support & be generous with those they known, like, trust and value.
Don’t forget to be generous and accommodating yourself.
Start asking for things as a fun experiment. I have friends who are constantly blagging things like free coffee, a boat trip, expert mentorship. I managed to get myself a really decent bicycle worth several hundred euros last week just by asking for it (full story coming soon).
In life you really do get what you give. If you’re showing up as a man of value, you can reasonably expect value in return.
Peace, love + handshakes,
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