Too many men out there are falling for the marketing of companies and individuals that teach game/pickup/seduction skills. They’re nearly always perfectly good guys who are following a lot of un-necessary advice and putting in way too much hard work that is actually drastically slowing their development in their journey to emerging as a mature and naturally attractive adult male.
It’s my view that skills and techniques can only do 5% of what having a naturally attractive way of being is capable of.David Tee
I don’t mean to knock pickup as a whole. I salute all my brothers out there who are working on growing as a man. And anything that gets guys talking to women and finding out what does & doesn’t work must be a good thing.
But what the pickup coaches are teaching is essentially a performance, based on a “numbers game”. It’s disappointing for women who are looking for a genuine guy who isn’t putting on a performance. And it’s frustrating for men who are being told to “keep approaching more women” in order to find the few who can’t see through the bullshit.
And not to mention the constant anxiety of approaching women when you don’t really feel like they’re going to receive you well because you don’t yet feel like you’re an attractive enough man.
On this page I’m going to teach you exactly how to start being received well by the vast majority of women you meet from now on and for the rest of your life.
I personally do not rely on any skill or technique in order for women to become attracted to me. I certainly don’t rely on my looks either.
I actually rely on the fact that I am already enjoying my life whether I have a woman with me or not. And this has a massive effect on my natural way of being when I’m face to face with attractive women, and with people in general.
I use a range of awareness techniques in order to maintain a life that’s abundant with opportunity, instead of struggling through each day while feeling inadequate and unfulfilled. (For those interested, I teach those techniques on my online mentorship programme called “The Reset”).
I generally try to see all men as my brothers, and all women as my sisters.
I generally try to see all men as my brothers, and all women as my sisters (at the start, at least). As if we’re all on a big ship together. This affects how I greet everybody and how I relate to and converse with them.
I do not give off any signals that might indicate I’m desperate or needy. This is because I realised long ago that the only person who can make me happy and give me fulfilment is myself. Therefore I don’t trigger any kind of resistance in the women I encounter, and they find me easy to get along with.
It’s extremely common to find that guys who got into pickup did so because they wanted to impress their friends or prove themselves to other males.
The problem with this is of course that they are coming from a place of neediness. And therefore their interactions are always about “taking things further”, never truly enjoying the present moment. It’s a large part of the cause of “approach anxiety”, because they know deep down that they are being a drain on the resources (time, attention, love, trust) of each women they meet.
As males we have a natural urge to establish ourselves within our community, and when that need isn’t being fulfilled it can be quite troubling. However in my personal view there are many more nourishing things we can be doing as men in order to gain status and rise within the hierarchy than trying to pick up girls, which incidentally tend to be attractive to women.
Since I started approaching my social & dating life in a more easy-going way, I’ve been able to hit it off with new people effortlessly without fear of judgement – It’s a quality that women find intriguing and it certainly gets noticed.
How to start making the shift to becoming a naturally attractive man.
For some, the change can happen immediately. For others it can be a longer process, especially for those who have consumed and believed in large amounts of content that teaches a more “approach-and-try-to-close” way of meeting women.
However the starting point is exactly the same. And I’ve seen this work for countless guys.
Here is my number 1 single biggest tip for enjoying the fastest transformation possible:
Go out and meet as many women as you want, but WITHOUT any intention whatsoever of taking things further.
I mean literally behave as if you already having your sexual and romantic needs fully and excessively met elsewhere. Do this for as long as you start to experience a significant change in the way you are received by women in general.
Not sure if it will work?
I invite you to think about, and even PICTURE how you would carry yourself and communicate if you already had 2 awesome girls waiting for you in your bed at home.
Don’t be smug about it. Imagine what your way of being would be like if this was completely normal to you.
How much calmer would you be in front of new people?
How would you greet people differently?
How much better at getting into REAL conversations would you be if all of the pressure was off to GET SOMETHING from the girls you’re meeting?
How differently would women respond to you if were able to relax and be “normal” with them instead of awkwardly trying to tease them or put on what you’ve been told elsewhere is an attractive “performance”?
How much more relaxed would they be if you weren’t trying to rush them out of the door, instead enjoying each moment with them?
In my experience, this is exactly how to get women chasing you. Simply because it’s impossible to express any kind of desperate, needy or pedestalizing behaviour to a woman when you’ve committed to not trying to pick them up.
And here’s the kicker…
As a result of spending quality time getting to know women in this way, you will learn so much more about women than if all of your interactions were “pickup attempts”.
You’ll get to experience women being completely relaxed with you, even intrigued by this version of you that’s so easy to talk to and get along with without needing anything in return.
Lots of “happy accidents” happen this way. It’s normal for me these days for women to look for excuses to give me their contact details, rather than me having to suggest exchanging numbers. And their desires are never platonic.
There is more to it than this, of course.
As I’ve said, the above exercise really is just step 1. It’s absolutely essential to develop certain other areas of your way of being, including your storytelling ability and conversational awareness. I’ll be writing about those in future, so be sure to keep an eye out for my future articles.
Get there faster with expert mentorship.
Don’t forget to check out my mentorship programmes, designed specifically for intelligent introverted guys like yourself who want to experience major social and dating life breakthroughs.
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