I recently wrote this in response to one of the members of my main FB group saying he has a problem with “approach anxiety” when meeting women in the daytime…
Don’t feel pressure to do something that looks impressive on YouTube! I never met a daygamer who was just a normal cool guy who was easy to get along with. Some of them are real wacky or dark/shady characters who only do “daygame” because they have had to resort to it (i.e they were not accepted socially).
You might have a lot more fun and save yourself a lot of time, energy and daygame approach anxiety by getting more involved in the social scenes of your city, especially as you build your status & popularity by getting along with everybody, making yourself more well known as a likeable, trustable and valued/valuable guy. You seem to have that about you, so put it to good use.
The social acuity you’ll gain from that will give you more confidence to interact with women as you go about your normal day because you will be more used to dealing with people, better understanding of communication and how to get along with people Vs relying on a “daygame” style of interaction which is very limiting as there’s only one “success” outcome. You will have experienced more acceptance, and so acceptance (i.e being liked on first meeting) will start to become normal to you and you won’t be worrying about rejection.
I should know because I used to roam the streets of Budapest for hours every day trying to chat up girls but most of the time I was too damn nervous because I was basically operating as a “nobody” trying to get some love.
When I switched to just meeting girls in the street when I was actually doing something (e.g heading to supermarket, going to meet friends etc, genuine accidental encounters) I started having massive success, in no small part because I no longer had to pretend to be confident or smooth, lie about “randomly just saw you” (pretending I hadn’t been prowling the streets for girls like a lonely creep), and also no longer had to worry about what to say, because the truth became enough to rely on. You get to be as genuinely surprised about each encounter as the girl is, instead of it being “just another set”, and there’s incredible power in the authenticity of that. Every guy I’ve coached this way of operating agrees, as does every woman I’ve discussed it with.
I work with intelligent, introverted men who want a guided head-start in becoming a man who gets along with people and I have been doing so 7+ years. You can check out this link for more information.
Daygame approach anxiety exists because deep down you know you’re lying to each girl about what you’re up to.
Even the “daygame experts” claim success rates that are disturbingly low (Google “daygame statistics” and read the articles that come up, to see what I mean). They generally claim that you need to approach 1000+ women to gain a decent level of skill, and then you can expect a 3% success rate (their words not mine, just look at those Google results). No guy deserves to hold himself to such low standards, or work so hard for such little love.
As for approach anxiety, it’s always easiest when you KNOW for SURE that you can rely on the truth. I’ve said things like “I didn’t know I was going to meet a pretty girl today otherwise I would have worn smarter clothes or something” and the honesty of it endeared me to her. You get to enjoy a “success rate” of 100% of the girls who aren’t getting their sexual or romantic needs met elsewhere wanting to be with you. Women only really reject guys who are bullshitting, needy/desperate, or trying too hard, all of which I expect you are not. You can be nervous as fuck, I have been, many times.
You’re expected to be a little nervous when you meet somebody who you might want to explore more deeply and possibly share a special romantic/sexual connection. If not then you’re triggering “I bet he does this all the time/says this to every girl” or just general suspicion about your intentions.
- How to drastically improve your daygame results.
- She says she has a boyfriend. What next? (the way of the REAL man)
- The childish behaviour of men who lie to make themselves seem interesting.
- How to be naturally attractive without relying on pickup skills and techniques and structured interactions.