I’m willing to bet that if you’re struggling to meet & get along with women, at least some of the following are true for you:
(By the way, I’ve been guilty of everything on this list for long periods of my life before emerging as the man I am today)
- You don’t make your bed in the mornings.
- You haven’t washed your bedsheets recently (or your mother still washes them).
- You spend the first minutes of each day on your phone, forgetting you have a powerful body to connect with.
- You don’t smile at or greet & warmly welcome women when they come into your proximity or enter the same room as you.
- You don’t carry yourself in public as an open & approachable man, and yet you wonder why people ignore you/never introduced themselves.
- You don’t actively “appreciate out loud” as you go about your day (for example mentioning when something looks/good/smells good), instead keeping your love to yourself. This makes you anxious when it’s time to pay somebody a compliment, because you’re so not used to expressing that part of yourself.
- You let other people decide where you’re going and what you’ll do there (not just for the evening but in life!) – Something you got used to during childhood. You prefer this position of taking no responsibility because you have been conditioned to be a follower not a leader. Deep down this does not satisfy you, because it’s not in your true nature. You ARE a leader… your conditioning is what’s fucking you.
- You generally see other men as bigger/more powerful/more important than yourself. You carry yourself as a man of lower status than them, and you therefore get treated as such, even though these people don’t know you or your history, and you have a fresh start with each new person you meet where you could be seen as whoever you choose to in terms of status. Again this comes from your parenting: “Keep your head down and you won’t get into trouble”… when really “TROUBLE” is where all the exciting and good shit happens.
- You see having a good experience with a girl as “getting lucky” rather than something that happens as a result of you showing up and letting her experience the real you.
- You tend to get infatuated with any girl who shows you even the slightest bit of interest, completely blind to the fact that she’s probably not your ideal match and she isn’t even that attractive. Naturally this neediness makes women quickly lose interest, which you blame them for instead of yourself.
- When you DO get some success with women, you feel the need to let the whole world know because it’s such a big deal to you, bragging to your friends etc. The then keeps such experiences in the “rare and special zone” because deep down you don’t feel you genuinely deserved it, rather than accepting the good things in life as your new normal.
- You’re willing to spend entire evenings trying to get laid instead of enjoying yourself and having a vibe that women can get along with when they meet you. You also spend way more time on dating apps than you do in pursuing something meaningful and fulfilling, such as hobbies or your development.
- You get angry/bitter/jealous/frustrated while walking home after putting in so much effort and getting no results, crying into your kebab or hating the world and yourself.
- You believe that women don’t want sex (not with a guy like you, at least), and that they have to be carefully coaxed or “gamed” into doing it or “putting out”. You follow information sources that agree with this unfortunate and grossly inaccurate worldview, keeping you wrapped in a comfort bubble where you can avoid doing the real work of emerging as a mature competent adult man who women can actually take seriously.
- You put guys who DO (or are perceived to) get laid on a pedestal and join thousands of other guys in making them famous, which is exactly what they want you to do. Again, are you a leader or a follower?
- You join a “boy’s club” of guys who are into “self development” and picking up girls because you feel like you’re getting good information, and you enjoy the sense of finally belonging to something where you’re accepted. You tolerate enormous levels of immaturity and their way of being infiltrates and affects your own. You use military-style terminology such as “approach”, “target”, “set”, and close when discussing attracting women.
and finally, (let’s hope)…
One day you wake up and realise that you just needed to work on your presence, your inner calm, start loving yourself, and see women as friends, sisters & allies who can CHOOSE to be intimate with you, rather than as “targets” to be conquered for gratification.
You start having more sex and more deep, meaningful and lasting connections than (seemingly) all the other guys you ever met in your life.
What do you think?
Write in the comments below.
- “Treat Women Like Dogs” – A respectful article about overthinking.
- Why cleaning your room gives you such a powerful advantage over males who don’t
- She says she has a boyfriend. What next? (the way of the REAL man)
- My response to all questions regarding DAYGAME APPROACH ANXIETY.