“We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”
Better pay attention to a guy with such a badass name…
One of the most important parts of social success is social-awareness. There are many things that are important to pick up on: people’s mood, why they are there, their plans for the night, the people they are with, how they are reacting to you and the environment, etc.
It sounds like a lot, but it is easier than you think–Literally.
It involves a lot less thinking, and more observation. Social awareness is a natural ability of the human species, its a process that we have developed as social creatures of observing and assessing each other. You only cover this up by being stuck in your head and clouding it with your thoughts and over thinking. The little social cues end up getting caught up in a mind-storm.
When people are speaking, really listen to them–with your ears and eyes. You don’t want to be thinking about what you’re going to say next, just waiting for them to stop talking so you can start.
People who are good in social situations are usually more in a state of flow, they just express themselves and read the environment. They have trust in their natural personality and ability to connect with others. Rarely are they in their heads for long and rare is it of doubts or fears regarding the situation.
So how do you develop this for yourself?
Like I said above, when you overthink you will start to get into your head and obscure your observational abilities. The most practical advice would be to gain experience (meaning just continue meeting with friends and new people) and take the concept of listening very seriously. Pay attention to people, but don’t let your thoughts swarm in.
The thing that will super charge this development is a regular meditation practice.
A consistent mediation practice is something we at Men Who Attract recommend all the time, and for good reason. There are TONS of benefits to it, even for social skills. As it relates to this topic, you will learn how to observe and distance yourself from unhelpful thought patterns. You’ll take this skill with you into social situations and be able to pick up on things an overactive mind cannot.
So when you are out and about, try to relax and observe people as you talk to them. Just take note of them and listen. It’s a small thing, but a habit will build up.
And the meditation on top of that will allow you to be more in moment and gather the social information more efficiently for your brain to process. You just sit back and become aware.
Any questions, just leave a comment.
Until next time,
- “Treat Women Like Dogs” – A respectful article about overthinking.
- How to be naturally attractive without relying on pickup skills and techniques and structured interactions.
- How to ask for what you want and GET IT.
- How To Save $$$ On Men’s Self-Help Seminars, Conventions and PUA Summits