Why I disagree with “ALWAYS BE CLOSING”

More (quality) connections means more opportunity.

In business, friendships, dating, sex…

Forget “always be closing”.

After all, people rarely make a transaction on first contact with a new business. And it’s the same in sex, romance and dating. So why try to force something that usually doesn’t work? Why not play this fact of life to your advantage.

Instead use first encounters an as opportunity to make yourself known, establishing yourself in the reality of those you meet as a likeable, trustable, respectable, valuable man.

Don’t forget: Most men DON’T do this. Hence men have a reputation for being creeps (ask your female friends about when guys have approached them…. what they did wrong or right). Usually what they did “wrong” was trying to GET SOMETHING without showing any awareness or interest in the girl, only what he wants from her.

Why not “always be closing”?

Because it feels so much better when THEY are choosing YOU, especially when they’ve had time & space to make up their minds about you after seeing what you’re REALLY about.

“Always be closing” is coming from a place of lack, of need, of “I’m unsatisfied unless we do the deal now”.

Creating a network of people who value you means way more opportunity.

It’s nice to be able to arrive at a party when you’re greeted with so many hugs & handshakes in the first 5 minutes that you feel like you need to take a shower.

It also creates GENUINE “social proof”…. And if you know anything about attraction, you’ll know how attractive THAT is.

“Everybody is being really cool with that guy… WHO IS HE?”

Sure some guys prefer to operate “under the radar”…

And that’s also cool

I don’t walk around in a bright yellow suit covered in flashing lights either.

I’ve found my own “sweet spot” where the connection I have with people outside of my main inner circle are subtle-yet-intense, meaningful, enjoyable, mutually beneficial.

It’s not about being loud or flashy.

More about bringing calm, warmth, and a mastery of eliminating tension on first encounters.

What do you think of this perspective?

For me it works like MAGIC.

And it’s unbelievably enjoyable.

DT

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