Why pickup coaches are some of the worst to learn from (part 1)

One of my least favourite parts of being essentially an “attraction coach for men” is that a lot of the other guys in this business are too deeply concerned with becoming known as “a guy who gets girls”.

I don’t want to be associated with that.

It’s childish. Men get with women anyway, “skillz” or not. Even some of the most lazy pathetic slobs “get girls”. It’s no major accomplishment.

And they’re not genuinely interested in assisting guys in doing the deep work of overcoming the issues that have been holding them back from attracting women in the first place. They see the solution as “just keep approaching more women and learning more skills”.

But yeah, these “look at me picking up girls” type of coaches:

In many cases, what they’re really trying to show is “I’m no longer the guy you bullied at high school”.

Some big-name coaches have even owned up to that. Fair play to them.

But for all these young kids running around trying to be the next big thing…. It’s obvious to the intelligent mature male what’s really going on.

Another point is that men naturally like to compete on skill level. That’s healthy. Makes us better at archery, craftsmanship, developing technology etc. Great stuff.

HOWEVER… A man who relies on SKILL to attract women (rather than his personality/character/way of being) is basically cheating, as far as I see it.

And he’s also deceiving himself. Because those who rely on SKILL are the ones reporting (and celebrating) their every (occasional) success, rather than accepting it as normal. And they always have to approach far more women than the rest of us (google phrases such as “daygame statistics” to see what I mean… You’ll see that even the EXPERTS are only getting jiggy with 3% of the women they approach… see for yourself).

I know because I used to do ALL of the above. And so it’s easy for me to recognise in every new young pickup coach who comes onto the scene. There’s a certain smugness that comes with new-found ability, and it’s the signal of a man who’s not to be trusted.

My own phase of doing that was very short-lived as the idea of essentially coaxing women into bed didn’t sit right with me.

I was putting in lots of effort, doing lots of approaches, “gaming” girls back to my place… Meanwhile other guys were getting laid of the back of their personality & character, without putting in any effort.

As an intelligent male I immediately dropped the approach-centric way and started paying close attention to the “naturals”. (And I don’t mean pickup coaches who call themselves “naturals”, I mean guys who had never even heard of PUA).

Quickly I accepted the fact that women are attracted to men who embody certain qualities. Not just attracted to, but actively seeking us out.

Embody those qualities, and you’re golden.

Take good care of yourself, engaging in behaviours that strengthen (not weaken) you and raise your status as much and as often as possible.

Warmly welcome those you want in your life, don’t TRY to get them to respond to you or behave in the way you want.

See women as your allies, not “sets” and “targets”.

And learn how to calm the f*ck down in front of beauty. And in front of other men, of course.

DT

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